Maybe the idea of love is intriguing. Perhaps it’s the unknown that we’re drawn to?
I honestly think we're all born not believing in love. It’s like this far away place that our imagination takes us to. We build this aura around it, and in our heads we over-think and over-populate our minds into thinking it could be real.
It's our upbringing; how we were raised by our parents that gives us this crazy desire for love.
My opinion is that humanity might have fallen in love with the idea of love, and passed it on from generation to generation.
When we do find what we think is love, the build-up to finally getting to that point is so intense, that we latch onto it and try to never let it go.
I will drift off topic and just say that, the most powerful feeling is hope. Hope of a better tomorrow, hope of getting into heaven, hope of staying clear of hell. Hope of finding that one true love.
We hope that we can regain that initial spark that we and our significant other once shared.
Love, fueled by the fire of hope, can be a highly powerful force. Hope is what drives us human beings, and by this feeling called hope is what will make us stick through our so called 'love'.
Love is an extremely vague term. I solely believe its only about compromise and understanding. It's just way too naïve to think that you'll be in love forever. So my conclusion to this fucked up piece is that when you do fall out of love with your partner, can you make them fall in love with you again?
People change. As we grow up, we grow different.
Times change. Things around us affect us and how we treat our significant other.
Memories fade and are replaced by newer (probably less exciting) ones.
All of this takes a toll on love until eventually it’s just not there any more, or a different type of love is created.
That initial spark dies and is replaced by a love built out of convenience and maybe even one built from trust. Passionate love is replaced by complacent love. Many will realize this and will split up in the hopes of finding that “better” love. Others will choose not to split up for whatever reasons they may have. Fear is probably the biggest motivator here.
By now you should know that I understand everyone has a different opinion about this extremely vast topic we're talking about, however I think we can all agree that it has one common destination: Marriage.
Let's just touch on this subject quickly.
I know happily married couples, full stop. They've been married a while now and its hard work.
This blog I'm writing isn't for shits and giggles.
You know I can't sugar-coat this but marriage isn't what we thought it would be. The value of a relationship has changed from what it used to be.
It has changed. Just like our culture has moved from being one of quality products, to being a generation obsessed with instant gratification. We all live a McDonald’s life. We place our orders now and want our burger in 5 minutes. People tend to choose the latter, and people are opting more for quantity than quality, love is not an illusion... just harder to find. Why? I think that we have society to blame for it. And fucking movies.
Unfortunately we've evolved as humans and our brains eliminate what the possibilities and probabilities are if they don't suit us. In layman's terms we create pro's and con's, and using that we establish what can work and what cannot work.
So back to love; I hate this fucking word. It's meaningless if it can't last forever. Take a chance, that's what life's about right? What if 15 years down the line your partner packs up and leaves? They found some hot number that just does it for them. Your partner has decided to take a chance, and where does that leave you?
Why is it that second marriages work out better? Do we mature after being hurt? Are we evolving too quickly? Are we just taking the leap of faith with our significant other too soon?
People say its fear; fear of being let down, fear of letting your feelings go, fear of losing someone you gave your all to, fear of not finding another, fear of being cheated on, fear of putting someone before you, fear of feeling needy of someone else...
There's no ignoring facts and the stats on divorce rates are astonishing. I just call it like I see it, and its not fear its wisdom. Good sex obviously lengthens the years of being in love or in the actual relationship , but did u ever wonder what your relationship would've been like without sex? Do we fall in love with sex itself? Can you picture having a relationship without sex, wait let me guess your answer..
NO! I'm good right?
Great sex can fix bad relationships. Great sex even saves marriages. But when (and notice how I said when) a stage comes in your relationship where you think that you're being treated like a slut just for sex, let him pay. I'd like to say I have a non bias opinion about life and love and situations. The thing is, love is blind. Love is a made up. I've seen love, I've felt heartbreak and there's nothing great about love. People say that there are soul mates out there for us, I'd like to believe that too, but unfortunately I'm a realist. I hope you not reading this thinking, this guy is so negative, thats because you probably 18 – 25 years old, single, in a relationship or possibly happily married, but really your life has only started.
Have you ever heard of the saying 'there is no love without tragedy'?
There is no love without tragedy.
Well this is my 1st piece and I didn't want to get carried away hahahaha so hopefully you'll be waiting for my next piece.
"mi línea de pensamiento ha pasado
my train of thought has passed"
I honestly think we're all born not believing in love. It’s like this far away place that our imagination takes us to. We build this aura around it, and in our heads we over-think and over-populate our minds into thinking it could be real.
It's our upbringing; how we were raised by our parents that gives us this crazy desire for love.
My opinion is that humanity might have fallen in love with the idea of love, and passed it on from generation to generation.
When we do find what we think is love, the build-up to finally getting to that point is so intense, that we latch onto it and try to never let it go.
There's a time period on love and its always going to catch you. The question is, when the hour is upon you, are you in too deep?
The intensity that built you up to this moment, this chasing love, finding love, connecting with soul-mates, will that be the spark to keep your relationship alive?
After the spark dies, does the relationship die along with it?
I will drift off topic and just say that, the most powerful feeling is hope. Hope of a better tomorrow, hope of getting into heaven, hope of staying clear of hell. Hope of finding that one true love.
We hope that we can regain that initial spark that we and our significant other once shared.
Love, fueled by the fire of hope, can be a highly powerful force. Hope is what drives us human beings, and by this feeling called hope is what will make us stick through our so called 'love'.
Love is an extremely vague term. I solely believe its only about compromise and understanding. It's just way too naïve to think that you'll be in love forever. So my conclusion to this fucked up piece is that when you do fall out of love with your partner, can you make them fall in love with you again?
People change. As we grow up, we grow different.
Times change. Things around us affect us and how we treat our significant other.
Memories fade and are replaced by newer (probably less exciting) ones.
All of this takes a toll on love until eventually it’s just not there any more, or a different type of love is created.
That initial spark dies and is replaced by a love built out of convenience and maybe even one built from trust. Passionate love is replaced by complacent love. Many will realize this and will split up in the hopes of finding that “better” love. Others will choose not to split up for whatever reasons they may have. Fear is probably the biggest motivator here.
By now you should know that I understand everyone has a different opinion about this extremely vast topic we're talking about, however I think we can all agree that it has one common destination: Marriage.
Let's just touch on this subject quickly.
I know happily married couples, full stop. They've been married a while now and its hard work.
This blog I'm writing isn't for shits and giggles.
You know I can't sugar-coat this but marriage isn't what we thought it would be. The value of a relationship has changed from what it used to be.
It has changed. Just like our culture has moved from being one of quality products, to being a generation obsessed with instant gratification. We all live a McDonald’s life. We place our orders now and want our burger in 5 minutes. People tend to choose the latter, and people are opting more for quantity than quality, love is not an illusion... just harder to find. Why? I think that we have society to blame for it. And fucking movies.
Unfortunately we've evolved as humans and our brains eliminate what the possibilities and probabilities are if they don't suit us. In layman's terms we create pro's and con's, and using that we establish what can work and what cannot work.
So back to love; I hate this fucking word. It's meaningless if it can't last forever. Take a chance, that's what life's about right? What if 15 years down the line your partner packs up and leaves? They found some hot number that just does it for them. Your partner has decided to take a chance, and where does that leave you?
Why is it that second marriages work out better? Do we mature after being hurt? Are we evolving too quickly? Are we just taking the leap of faith with our significant other too soon?
People say its fear; fear of being let down, fear of letting your feelings go, fear of losing someone you gave your all to, fear of not finding another, fear of being cheated on, fear of putting someone before you, fear of feeling needy of someone else...
There's no ignoring facts and the stats on divorce rates are astonishing. I just call it like I see it, and its not fear its wisdom. Good sex obviously lengthens the years of being in love or in the actual relationship , but did u ever wonder what your relationship would've been like without sex? Do we fall in love with sex itself? Can you picture having a relationship without sex, wait let me guess your answer..
NO! I'm good right?
Great sex can fix bad relationships. Great sex even saves marriages. But when (and notice how I said when) a stage comes in your relationship where you think that you're being treated like a slut just for sex, let him pay. I'd like to say I have a non bias opinion about life and love and situations. The thing is, love is blind. Love is a made up. I've seen love, I've felt heartbreak and there's nothing great about love. People say that there are soul mates out there for us, I'd like to believe that too, but unfortunately I'm a realist. I hope you not reading this thinking, this guy is so negative, thats because you probably 18 – 25 years old, single, in a relationship or possibly happily married, but really your life has only started.
Have you ever heard of the saying 'there is no love without tragedy'?
There is no love without tragedy.
Well this is my 1st piece and I didn't want to get carried away hahahaha so hopefully you'll be waiting for my next piece.
"mi línea de pensamiento ha pasado
my train of thought has passed"
“The yearning to love and to be loved is at the heart of who we are.” - Lynne Twist
ReplyDeleteThis particular quote speaks to every man and woman.
The worlds ‘greatest love stories from the brilliantly successful ones to the dismally tragic ones, come down to the yearning to wanting to love and to be loved in return. In every love story, there is a special quality to the relationship that is defined by how each person deals with their own yearning to love and to be loved.
Some of us have a stronger desire to love as opposed to being loved. These persons give of themselves to the other person with gay abandon. They are supportive and nurturing, even if they risk suffocating the other person with their affection. Others pour out their love in bold, brash, and even bullying ways. And then there are those who are more committed to loving rather than being loved. They will follow their lover wherever he or she decides to lead them, even if it means to the dark side. Just think of all the men and woman who have committed crimes with their partners.
However what is love?
The bible teaches us that Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
In today’s times the youth use the word “in love” very loosely. What they should actually be saying is that they are “in lust” Our youth are preoccupied with wanting everything right now.
The “Mc Donald” syndrome which you so rightly mention. They want instant gratification. They are no longer prepared to wait for marriage before having sex as the Bible teaches us.
The “manne” boast about the notches on their headboard and the girls boast amongst themselves about the “hunks” they have slept with. This breaks so many rules the bibles teaches us about love.
Love is patient (not waiting for marriage as the bible instructs us) – STRIKE 1
Love does not boast. - (Boasting about our escapades) - STRIKE 2
Love is not self-seeking. (Instant gratification) – STRIKE 3
Love does not dishonor others (dishonoring yourself, your lover and God by disobeying his word by having sex outside of marriage) - STRIKE 4
Therefor in closing I would like to pose the question?
Are we confusing love with lust?
So True :) Humanity has fallen inlove with the idea of love...its not all its cut out to be and we often confuse it with infatuation...its not love if its a secret, its not love if he can't spend time with you, its not love if he says "I love you" after being intimate lol. But I have seen love, have you ? :)
ReplyDeleteI must say i agree with you regarding the issue you raised of CONVENIENCE!
ReplyDeleteMyself, i dont know if i believe love exists i myt hev fallen in love once and that meks me agree to the saying that YOU ONLY FALL IN LOVE ONCE IN A LIFETIME! My thinkin now is compatibility,trust and good sex are the 3 recipes to a good relationship.. Dont judge me, it weks for me !!!lol
Your part about being married, I've been married before and when you get divorced you have no clue what's waiting for you, but I can tell you its not love. You can only love once that's what I believe the rest is lust, it is a miracle of God if love strikes you twice. To be quite blunt men between the ages of 22 and 26 dnt have a damn clue, their pants love you more than anything and that is the harsh truth. But it does mature you when you hurt, or some accept the love they think they deserve which can mess them up emotionally for alongtime. Look around at the young women/single moms/divorced women who bought into the idea of "promises" and how many times they've been broken ! Why would u want to love with all this hurt going around. Its crazy to fall inlove or love wholeheartedly you will get screwed over...eventually.
ReplyDelete"I've seen love, I've felt heartbreak, and there's nothing great about love." Perhaps the thoughts of a broken heart? There are numerous beautiful features of love. By love, I mean ‘real love’!
ReplyDeleteI'm young but far from naive, I’ve reflected on relationships of family members, friends and others and still I disagree with you to an extent. This topic of ‘love’ treads deep waters for many people that have had love and lost it. I've seen what love can make people do, how it can change situations positively and negatively, how you can go from an unimaginable apex of euphoria and overwhelming contentment while all at once it can so easily hurt as if you’re in an energy draining wormhole of disillusionment. If you’ve experienced real love, you can relate. Real love, the kind of love that is not forced, the kind that grows from a friendship and companion, the kind that is often serendipitous, the kind that happens with fulfilment; when you’re fixated with being in that person’s presence just because it’s better to do nothing with them physically there, than to do something without them, the kind of love that makes you proud and perhaps sparks from lust, the love you share equally because love is not a one sided emotion, it’s heightened when you are with the person that reflects the feelings you have for them. That being said, such a love is hard to come across, times have changed, people’s perceptions heavily influence one another. I agree, movies and romance novels, other people’s relationships and so forth, are some sort of propaganda, to brain wash you from young into a romanticized personification of love. We confuse love and lust because everyone wants to feel what is portrayed in media, it is because we are human, we crave affection, and some people would rather confuse any feeling for love and settle, than be lonely and wait for the ‘real deal’. I’ve seen love, I’ve felt love, I’ve felt heartbreak, I’ve lost love and learnt that you may not end up with the one you wanted back then, but you will end up with the one you’ll need in the future. Call it soul mates, or second/third/forth/fifth chances but real love does not have to be unattainable, it is not in existent, it is great in an inexpressible way and being in love, well, being in love is a volatile state of mind and emotion, while love is enrichment of the soul. But, that’s just my opinion on your opinion.
"Real love, the kind of love that is not forced, the kind that grows from a friendship and companion, the kind that is often serendipitous, the kind that happens with fulfilment; when you’re fixated with being in that person’s presence just because it’s better to do nothing with them physically there"-agreed! Also, love is also about countless experiences of failure together & if you were a part, failure that turns into learning experiences that makes a 'love" relationship into an unbreakable companionship!
DeleteYour post is very negative. Trusting in god when it comes to your partner helps. Belive that god is in controll of everything and everyone. pray for a perfect marriage and you will have one :) i firmly belive that. God accepts the prayers of a sincer heart.
ReplyDeleteLove is beautiful, it comes in its purist form when we brought into this world. We have no expectations. Then it changes love gets tainted with lust I agree that lust is often mistaken for love what the eye sees, beauty, material things. Even though we know its not real we still believe in what is portrayed to us as a definition of love by dumb movies written by hopeless romantics, dude its not real that shit is fiction there's no bar set 4 love..love should be free, or rather feel free and non judgmental it shouldn't be a battle or feel like a 24/7 work program, love isn't selfish. There's different forms of love: love for your family , friends and then the love you share with that 1 special person..personally I think you shouldn't be afraid to love "fear" is a handicap, it holds you back. You only live one life so why not live it to the fullest extent?love life, enjoy the pleasures of the journey! Love is forgiving and should be shared with those who are worthy of receiving it.
ReplyDeleteAlpha, Love is a solid foundation of effective communication with your spouse! Bottom line. I'm sure you believe in a Higher Power. We are tested daily in different aspects of our lives. We need to communicate effectively as this is our cement through hhighs and lo's life throws at us. And most importantly you need to compromise but not at your own detriment, been married a while and believe me crossed obstacles however the foundation remained solid, I don't think there is such a thing as soulmates! Whoever came up with that is talking pure rubbish or lived in a world of their own. Peace and lots of love! ALPHA FEMALE :) wink #inboxme# heheee
ReplyDeleteWell done, good writing. Keep it up..
ReplyDeleteLove is a myth. I love this post
ReplyDeleteReal Love can last forever but staying together or choosing to have someone in your life forever doesn't happen often if at all. In my opinion it's just the universe's way of letting you know that this world is temporary. I think people expect too much from that word. Love...when felt correctly and not mistaken for lust, co-dependence or comfort is very much real but we complicate and abuse it. I actually have alot more to comment on. Keep it up, writing is such a powerful channel :)
ReplyDeleteWell done my king , lol what have you done to the people
ReplyDeleteThere's a disease called Love, don't catch that shit!
ReplyDeleteAg what do you know.
ReplyDeleteI can't say I don't relate to this insightful piece. I do however, sense that you've given up on love all together.
ReplyDeleteI urge you to think about the life cycle of a baby. Better yet, life in general.
Where did we come from?
I know this is taking things a bit further, but I do hope it gives u some perspective on the concept of love, in my view ofcause.
Not to go all religious on your ass or anything. But dont you think when God created humanity, we were created out of love? So if we were created out of love, are we not in itself love.
When a baby is born, the child is innocent, clear off all sin-pure.
How is birth able to take place? Forget science. This process, you, your birth in itself is a miracle and therefore, love.
But that is the concept of love in the general sense.
Love is innocent, love is pure,love is caring for the next person, or smiling at an old lady who looks down.
Then love in tthe romantic sense?
I believe that God put us on Earth to serve him and reproduction is a means of creating a bigger community of worshippers to god.
That being said, I don't think everyone has the same purpose.
Some are meant to help others find love and merely be a roleplayer in their love story, while others actually end up together in the long run.
Theres so much to say on this matter, but this is afterall, your blog.
* maybe I should start my own blog lol Yeaaaaay -inspired- *
Anyway, I will leave you guys with this.
It is easier to hate, than to love. Thus people take their baggage of past failure in relationships with them to their next. No two people are the same. We were created individually and will be forever more, one in our uniquenes. So just because someone else did something one way does not mean the next person would do the same.
So leave your baggage at home, please people. Each and every day we are gifted with life, a chance to start a new. Take heed of that. Live life new.
Okay that's all for now:$
Ay*
ReplyDeleteMy name is Angela and am from USA, I want to use this opportunity to thank my great Doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr Osorba brought my husband back to me, i had two lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man’s email address. I was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just 48 hours and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully did what this great man asked me to do and for sure after 48 hours i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away, since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy, that’s why i want to say a big thank you to Dr Osorba Spiritual Temple. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. You can email him at: osorbaspiritualspelltemple@gmail.com you can also visit his blog on http://osorba.blog.co.uk and websites http://osorbaspiritualspelltemple.webs.com/
you can also reach Dr Osorba on +2347059497969